For One's Self [Armin x Reader] Part 1

Year 845: After the Fall

Knees cradled to your chest and head buried in crossed arms, you sat in the furthest, most hidden corner of the dilapidated storage building.

The blood-curdling screams echoed in your mind and the fresh splatter of crimson blood replayed throughout you memory- like a broken record. The events of that day would run smoothly and the music would flow in a beautiful serene melody before inevitably the needle crossed the crack in the record, making your body tense and cringe in disgust and your mind flash with the reminder of pain caused by the titans.

Tears soon followed when the realization had set in of this path in life, this beautiful flowing music produced by the disk was now rotten and eerie from damage. Yet, it was impossible to throw the ruined record away, so it continued to play- smoothly and then scratching.

A strong, calloused hand gently grasped your shoulder and shook you. “[Nickname], wake up! It's the afternoon, lazy,” the masculine voice scolded you playfully. Hesitantly, you lifted your head and your eyes locked onto a pair of identical [e/c] ones.

You could see your image in those deep [e/c] jewels. His eyes were narrower and not as round, yet they were bright and teasingly playful. They were definitely yours, or the way yours used to be.

“I got you something special from the market.”

The boy smiled at you and held up a golden jar of sticky syrup. It was a very small portion- enough for you to grasp in your tiny hands, but still, it was an expensive and rare product straight from Wall Shihna.

You blinked blankly at the brunette teenager, with his goofy grin. “Don't look at me like that,” he said tossing you the glass bottle full of the sweet syrupy substance.

Suspicion was your good friend these days and it never left your side as you eyed the precious golden ooze. “Did you steal this from the market?” you muttered coldly.

“Nah, I “liberated” it from those money grubbing merchants. I'm sure they won't miss it,” he sat down next to you and passed you a loaf of bread. “Before you say I stole that, I didn't. I managed to get some rations today. An elderly guy was handing them out for the children,” he grunted.

You eyed the warm, freshly-baked gluten with greed, drinking in the sweet smell of baked flour as you brought it up to your nose. Like a leaky faucet, saliva formed at the sides of your lips from just the smell alone.  

Perhaps, they added extra egg in the bread?  It definitely smelled like eggs. No, rations were too precious for that, or maybe the fact you hadn't eaten in the last two days fueled your irrational desires. Either way, it was going down, and fast.

“Hey, that's supposed to last the whole day!” the male scolded you and grabbed your arm to slow you down, but you nudged him away with your elbow, shoving the last of the morsels in your mouth and licking your fingers of the buttery grease.

“Greedy girl,” he sighed and rubbed his fingers through your [h/c] bangs.

“I'm still hungry,” you groaned pathetically, clutching your growling stomach, still unsatisfied at the meal for the day. Although, it was delicious, it wasn't nearly enough to satisfy your aching, cramping tummy.

He sighed in irritation, dropping his bread from his mouth and throwing it in your lap. “Make it last this time, okay?”

You smiled and sniffed his bread in the same fashion, smiling happily before staring back at him. “Aren't you hungry? You haven't been eating much, brother...”

“I'll be alright. I'm a lot tougher than I look,”  [B/Name] chuckled and stood up. Just as soon as he stood, he dropped to the floor, barely catching himself against the building pillar. His bright [e/c] eyes widened as he coughed violently into his hand, trying to muffle the sickly, scratchy sound in his throat.

Concern rushed through you and you jumped onto your feet, running up and rubbing his back in a motherly fashion. “Are you okay?” you asked worriedly, but [b/name] chuckled it off with a flippant wave.

“Yeah, I just tripped again! I'm such a klutz!”

You scowled and shook your head at him. “You're not that strong if the floor is polishing itself off with you."

“Hey, show me a little respect!” he whined childishly and crossed his arms over his muscular chest. “I may be your brother, but I'm still older than you, little girl!”

“Tch. It's hard to take a guy who constantly trips on thin air seriously,” you smirked and stuffed the rest of the food in your satchel along with your jar of gold deliciousness and bolted towards the crowded town square.

“Don't go wandering too far on your own, [Name]! I don't need you to get body-snatched by perverts.”

“I know. I know. Aim for the balls technique. I got it!” you grinned and ran off into the crowd of people.

You ran off into the crowd of refugees. Most were from the Shiganshina District, the sight of the breech, you felt lucky that you and your brother were from the riverside district of Kantell, the closest to Shiganshina; however, it's elaborate waterways allowed for easy escape, especially since the information traveled so quickly to your district.

The sweet smell of bread filled your nose once again and you licked your lips, remembering that you still had some in your satchel. Too bad they didn't have any fish to go along with it. You've missed that ever since you left Kantell District.

You stopped in yours tracks as you spotted the elderly man handing out food to the small children; they appeared to be around your age. He must have been the one that your brother mentioned. You smiled and called out to him, “Thank you for the rations, oji-san.”

The man gazed at you and smiled softly, earning him one in return. There was also a small baby-faced boy with him, staring at you curiously as you ran off towards the stream on the lower side of town.

Reaching the steps that lead down to the dirt road parallel to the river, you sat down at the very top and pulled out the small tube of honey. You smiled at the thought your brother would risk punishment just to swipe your favorite sweet.

After prying open the tight seal, you dipped your finger into the liquid gold, letting the sticky honey drip down your finger before bringing it to your tongue with a satisfied moan. “Those people in Shihna are so lucky, they get to eat stuff like this everyday,” you thought as the satisfyingly sweet taste filled your senses, but your euphoric feeling was interrupted by a frustrated grunt.

“Tch, it's one of those runner kids.”

You gasped and sealed your gift, shoving it back into your satchel. You met the face of the two boys that had spoken out loud. One was big, broad for his age with dark auburn hair and the other was very lean, yet tall, and his hair was very dark black and his eyes held a bored expression.

“My dad said we can't get any more food because of all these cowards. They should've just died in their district instead of crowding up ours,” the red-head complained.

You looked around nervously, uneasiness built up in the pit of your stomach and you suddenly felt the need to return to your brother. He might have been clumsy, but he was tall and muscular looking. Although, his personality was playful, his 19-year old form would definitely be enough to intimidate a few brats.

Troubled, you stood up from your spot and hung your head low from view as you attempted to brush by the boys, but your arm was held back by the black-haired boy. “Where do you think you're going, freeloader?” he asked mockingly.

“None of your business!” you scoffed quitely and shook him from your arm, but you were trapped yet again by his friend who pushed your shoulders back violently, causing you to retreat to the edge of the stone steps.

“You should just go back to your filthy district!” A rough hand shoved your small body to the side of the stone stairs. Your body tensed and you rolled down violently and your skin was littered in bright red scratches and scars.

“You're just scum from the lower Kantell! Your clothes reek like fish!” The broad boy insulted you, kicking your stomach roughly. You could feel a bruise sweltering up the spot were he had attacked you and you clutched your stomach in attempt to protect it from another bruising blow as you brought your other arm up to your face for a shield.

Another hit followed and another, continuously. You screamed out in pain of the brute punishment. For what? Just for trying to cling to your life? You receive this treatment, just for wanting to live. Blood was coming into your vision, the same sticky, blinding feeling from before rose up in your chest.

You closed your eyes preparing for another hit, yet it never come. When you looked up, you saw him. The same blonde boy that was with the old man. The one who watched you in such interest.

“Stop it!” he demanded weakly, trying to hide the trembling in his voice as he stood in front of you like an impregnable fortress; his arms outstretched to protect you.

“...Y-You...” you mumbled weakly, sitting up on your knees and elbows.

“It's not her fault we're all here!” he explained, “We can't help the situation, even if we wanted to. Don't go blaming others for things they can't control.”

“Figures! Roaches just crowd together!”

“We'll just whip his ass instead,” the brunette smirked and his large first connected with your protector's stomach, slamming him back against the pavement. The attack was soon followed by the two boys stomping their feet against his head and side.

You cringed at the bone crushing sound of skin on skin. You hesitantly stepped up, still a little dizzy from the blow before. Steadied on your feet, you watched them gang up on the small blonde. The scene was disgusting.

Why must humanity turn on one another? With the dwindling population and the shortage of food, this was the time humanity must have to rely on each other and help one another, not turn against itself. This was too strange. Humans abusing and beating their own kind, even titans didn't turn on their own... Titans didn't toy with their prey.

Your brows furrowed in anger and you stormed up to the largest boy, grabbing his shoulder roughly and with pure aggression you turned him around, slamming your kneecap in between his legs. As he bent over to instinctively cover his pained area, your elbow crushed violently to the top of his head and you brought your foot up to meet his dropping head, knocking the boy to the ground as you heel impacted and twisted into his hand, surely breaking fingers.

“You bitch!” the second attacker said and punched you in your stomach, right in the same spot as before. You knelt to the ground with a yell and your [h/l] [h/c] locks were grasped and your head pulled back so he could aim another fist at your face.

The taste of iron filled your mouth and blood slowly trickled down the side of your busted lip. You met the round blue eyes of the boy, struggling to get up from the ground. You closed your eyes as another painful blow hit you and pain shook through your body.

Suddenly, it was lifted when a shrill cry echoed in the air and the attacked was pushed off of you and onto the floor. The blonde boy stood before you. His lean shoulders moving up and down rhythmically as he panted. He stared down at his hands in shock of what he had just done.

You immediately took hold of his wrist and fled the scene, back into the crowded area of soldiers. They wouldn't dare pick a fight there, even if they were angry.

Out of breath, you finally came to a stop around the corner of the building and dropped to the ground with the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy. “W-What was their problem?” you huffed in irritation.

“Everyone's frustrated with the food shortage and taking out their frustration on others.”

You panted and looked at him,“What's your name anyway, blonde?”

“M-My name?” he asked you shyly.

“Yes, your name! Do you not speak German?”

“I-I'm Armin! Armin Arlert...” he muttered. You sent him a smile and grabbed his hand gently, causing his face to flush lightly pink.

“I'm [Name]. Nice to meet you, Armin...”